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The message my brother wrote in the birthday card he gave me:

Hey DD!

I was at the mall this Friday, like I am pretty much every other Friday, and I was like, Hey, I better buy DD a card for her birthday because it is coming up pretty soon, and she would probably like it if I bought her a card and gave it to her on Sunday, because even though Sunday is only the 17th, I should probably go ahead and give her the card early, because that's probably the last time I will see her before her birthday, and I don't want to have to spend like probably $10 in gas money to drive all the way to Quitman and give her this card on her actual birthday because, let's face it, this card is not all that great anyway, well at least, not good enough to warrent an expensive trip to Quitman, and besides, it would take about an hour of my time, and even though it would be her birthday, my time is worth a lot, especially when you consider all the great things I could do with it.

Love,
Bobby

Not as affectionate as last year's message (Dearest sibling, When I sit and ponder the wonderful, tender moments we've shared over the years, I begin to weep with the sheer joy of our love.), but definitely more touching than two years ago (Dear DD, You don't suck as much this year as you did last year.).